...and it fuckin blows! Just when I'm getting comfortable with my current job it all goes to shit! First I was working like 50 hours a week, I loved it, I was making all the money I needed for bills, rent, food, everything...and now...I'm cut down to 30 hours a week, mine along with everyone else I work with has had they're paycheck held last week cause he can't afford it (mind you he didn't tell anyone, the bank had to tell me) I'm -$28 in the bank and I don't even know how long it's going to take for my check to go through, and I also found out today that he's closing the business (which he also didn't mention to me) so I can only hope that if he sells it that it's someone more responsible and someone who'll keep me hired....I need to find a second job, I need to make money. It sucks because I never like to think about money as being something that I need to be happy, but I suppose you only think like that while you have the money to at least eat...on top of these things my b/f hasn't been working, which only makes money situations harder, we've been fighting nonstop and I really just don't know what to do... I wanna run away...I'm nearly 22 years old and I still want to run away from home...

I was in the hospital all week! I have Rocky Mountain Spotted Fever! Sounds impressive, huh? It's a bacterium disease carried by ticks! They didn't know what was wrong with me at first cause I went into the ER with a fever and I kept puking, so they thought it was some kind of infection and decided to do a spinal tap kinda thing where they take spinal fluid directly from your back with a huge needle. Which was fun. Then they took 4 vials of my spinal fluid, which I learned looks just like water, crystal clear! But since they took so much of it I got really bad headaches, the fluid in your spine goes around your brain as well, so if you don't have enough flowing round your brain... biggest headache you'll ever feel. So then after like 3 or 4 days of headaches and laying still in bed they did a thing called a blood patch, basically the same procedure but this time they inject my own blood into the same spot, to make a blood clot and stop my spinal fluid from leaking, which apparently is what was going on. Then my feet and ankles got red spots all over em....and it made sence and they sent out blood work for this Rocky Mountain crap, few more days of laying there with IV's and nothing to do and they have me on some medicine now... Lyme's disease: CHECK! Rocky Mountain Spotted Fever: CHECK! ...okay, NEXT!! God I love ticks....

Excerpt from the book i wrote...its copyrighted so don't you dare take this tiny lil part! but i still don't trust people so thats why I'm only posting a very short lil paragraph of it before it makes it big and goes to the shelves. i may post other tiny things like this, but it wont ever be a complete anything, or even a part i like alot, due to dirty little thieves that visit D.A. purely to steal...oh and i dont know how or if you even can indent in your journal, but the "--" things mean its indented there lmao



-The view looking down at the field below did not look as magical as she had remembered, it did not twinkle and shine below her, inviting her curiosity, anything like it had the night before.
-The field she now saw looked lonely. The valley of tall golden grass appeared untouched, it swayed like an ocean wave as the wind came and went. It was so quiet now. The only sounds she could hear were the natural rustling in the dried leaves and burnt grass rubbing against itself, and the not so natural sound of her panicked breathing, rapidly increasing in volume and speed.
-Confusion had knocked her to her knees. She sat on the hill with closed eyes. Her memory replayed the cheering, laughter and music of the previous nights. A slide show of smiling faces flashed under her eyelids, all of the interesting people she had come to think of as friends. Had they really just left her here? Did they all just disappear, why is there no trace of them left? Or...were they ever even here at all?

okay those who noticed i only have self portraits...i take alot of pictures, of everything not just myself, but i like people pictures better just cause, i dunno i just do. I do take pictures of things other than myself tho, lol, i take so many pics of myself because i ALWAYS wanna take pictures, I'm just the only one who's always there when i wanna or is willing to do it, my friends aren't very photo-friendly. I have hundreds of pictures of friends with covered faces, either that or they're really fucked up and look it. in the future hopefully youll see work ,other than self-portraits, by me.